An Evil Plagues Our Society

Alex has been home for nearly four months now, and has yet to post on his blog. He’s merely been waiting for the right opportunity to appear, and it has. Bright and shining, it has. Only weeks into the new school semester and Alex has been brought back to the social awkwardities1 that BYU and Utah Mormons have to offer. Most prominent to him is the blatant violations of public decency that BYU newly engaged and newlyweds seem to revel in. As professor Cooper said in class this week, “We know you got engaged this past weekend because of President’s day, but so did the rest of your peers.” Get over it.

Since returning to campus nearly a month ago, one theme has struck Alex over and over again. PDA is too much to bear. Alex’s new mantra is, “save it for the bedroom.” Just yesterday he was walking from one class to another, only to run across a young couple, younger than he no doubt, in what appeared to be a face-gnawing fest. With absolutely no regard to others around them, this young loving pair seemed bent on letting their emotions get the better of them. Alex couldn't help but blurt out, “Are you kidding me?”, as he passed by the two. “How dare you desecrate my campus with your dirty deeds?” Alex’s snide remarks didn't even faze the lovers, as others around him clapped him on in agreement. Yes, let hormones control your life, that’s brilliant. Deny all sense and logic and just think really small, or just don’t think at all. That seems to be the motto of BYU PDAer’s campus wide.

One thing is clear, and that is you two obviously love each other, because if not, you wouldn’t be engaged or married, or even dating. This fact can be shared in simple, polite, and non-intrusive conversation about relationships you are in. It does not need to be announced to the whole world by the waterfall of drool coming from your open gaping “French-kiss” as you suck each other’s face into oblivion. It does not need to be known to us that you love each other by the public spooning of you two between classes on every piece of lawn available on campus. We know you’re in love, but you’re not the only ones. As a cousin-in-law recently said, “…young raging hormones and chastity seem to go hand in hand. Oh wait, not really.”

Alex has shared this experience before, but it is particularly relevant again. Once, while sitting and chatting with a female cousin between classes on a cement wall near the library, a young father pushes a stroller nearby. As he approaches Alex and cousin, he slows down, looks them in the eye, smirks, looks down at his stroller, then back at the pair and says, “Won’t be long before this is you guys.” He giggles as he walks away. It is this kind of intrusive social behavior that so plagues our university and community. Beyond the horrible nature and irony of the comment, the fact that because a boy and girl are sitting together on BYU campus assumes them lovers is why PDA is so prevalent in our area. It's expected of them...

PDA is not only restrained to public venues, but they, the abhorrent ones2 as they are now called, are beginning to fill our computer screens within nearly every social venue on the internet. Former physical restrictions to such such indecencies are disappearing. Our friends are letting the intimacies of their lives show through on various pictures of themselves on their many online profiles. It’s like a plague, and it’s spreading. We have to stop it before it grows too late.

I know I’m not alone when I air my grievances. There are many out there that have stated as such. It’s time we unite against public displays of affection. It’s time we fought back and took our lawns and benches back from the nightmares now occupying them! I say we fight back! No more whores in public! If I can’t take a test because of a 5 o’clock shadow, nor should the almost chastity-breaking couple go unpunished. Beyond the vows we all take regarding this matter, it is merely a common public decency. Disgust at this phenomenon at BYU doesn’t need to go on! We can stop it now! Whenever you see it, publicly humiliate the actions, and let them know how you really feel! It’s time this atrocity is abolished! No longer must we walk across campus in fear of seeing two disgusting creatures on the verge of mating. If you are a culprit, beware Alex Peacock, for he will make you regret your disgusting actions.

Stay tuned for part 2 on this series of PDA.

1. New awesometastic word, use it.

2. Alex has now officially slandered them by coining this new title for them, use it in this war against PDA.

PAiX