Marriage Is Carnage

Alex here...

I recently had an encounter with a distressed girl. What was she distressed about? Why marriage of course. Sadly, this is not the first time I've run into this situation or similar ones unto it. This individual had freshly turned 25 and was reflective upon her life thus far and into the future. She was concerned that she was not yet wed, nor had prospect in the foreseeable future. What has our society done to cause this? Why so much anguish from and for those not married at 30? It's as if all hope is gone once a 3 is added to the beginning of your age. Like my previous entry, I'm enraged by this negligence.

I'm pretty sure it's common knowledge that I 'm often abroad, and have a special place in my heart for Paris. Part of the reason I love Paris so much is due to their sociology. The way the Parisians, and more generally Europeans, interact means so much more than the cheesy and fake way Mormons and Utahan's in particular do. Yeah, they may not appear as friendly as small town Utah, but strangers generally aren't. The relationships they have with others are more meaningful. It's all hunky-dory on the outside in Utah, but beneath that lies deep seated feelings; whether they be jealousy, anger, pride, or even hatred. Meaningful relationships are important, marriage being the top priority in that.

The average age of marriage in France is 31.2 for men, 29.1 for women. This is the general pattern through out the remainder of Western Europe. In Cameroon it's 29.7 for men, 25.2 for women. Again, the general pattern for the majority of the African continent is represented in these figures. In New Zealand, 29.2 for men, 27.3 for women. (That one's for you Junebug.) Iran, 27.7 for men, 23.9 for women. 34.3 for men, 31.7 for women in Canada!

I relate this back to my previous assumption. The later the marriage, the more mature and ready the couple is. The more meaningful and serious the marriage will become. Our simple and unexposed minds are not ready to handle the sacred right of marriage at such a young age; as experienced in so many LDS Utah weddings. I graduated from Orem High School in April, and already, I know of at least three girls engaged to be married within the upcoming months. I'm pretty sure they're all 18 but 19 at the max. This is wrong. Sure, when humans only lived to be 35 marrying at such a young age was not only acceptable, but necessary. However, I'm pretty sure we've progressed beyond this point in our history.

The nice thing about having global acquaintances is that I get perspective on things from other cultures and other points of view. Par example, (like my use of French there?), this Thanksgiving I went to dinner with two new found Polish friends. We discussed everything from the EU to leather boots. The next day I invited one of them, Anna, to visit Rome's sights with me. She did, and we had the opportunity to discuss marriage. She gaffed at the thought of marriage within the teen years. Yet she was even more astounded after she found out that two of the girls on my study-abroad of undergraduate students were engaged to be married.  Recently, another one just got engaged since she's been home; not even a month...  "How are they ready to raise a family," she asked. "How can they seriously feel mature enough to enter into the vows of marriage?" "Good question", was my subsequent response. How can they? Our simple and inexperienced minds aren't ready for that kind of commitment. The concept of marriage for most European youth is first, nonexistent, and second, so far off into the future, it feels as if we're in Jr. High talking about marriage rather than the university students we are.

I know right now some of you are thinking, "Yeah but...". 

I DON'T CARE. I don't care about you mother's cousin's aunt who got married at 19 and lives a happy marriage.  I don't care if YOU are married at 19 and happy with it.  Of course you are, you're only experiencing the carnal right now.  Give it 5-10, then tell me how happy you are.  

Of course there are those happy with their young marriage. There are always exceptions to the rule, which is why I hate economics. That being said, the standard and statistics speak for themselves. The vast majority of us are not able to handle such a sacred right of passage at such a young age.I'm going to beating an already dead horse into oblivion by these two points. Considering the LDS notion of eternal marriage, it would seem to suggest the extreme importance of marriage. If you're going to be spending forever with them, and of course I mean beyond the mortal realm, you better like the person a whole lot, and I don't mean for their eyes. I know it's uber cliché, but regardless, it's true. Divorce has provided a scapegoat for people. There's no more real commitment in our society; and yes, I'm part of that. Just yesterday, I made an appointment, and blew it off for something far less meaningless, more fun, nonetheless useless.

This leads me to my second dead-horse point. In the LDS Church we practice what we refer to as the Law of Chastity. Simplified, this law does not allow for sexual relations outside the bounds of marriage. Namely, abstination, and after that, loyalty to your spouse. Due to this, it seems to me as if those within the LDS religion get married earlier for obvious reasons, (namely, raging hormones). I find this lack of self-control in young people disheartening. You're going to have a long married life together. The majority of most people's lives in fact. There will be plenty of time for that later. Enjoy life and have fun while you still can. Marriage is probably one of the best things you could ever do, (not from experience, but hearsay), yet enjoying your youth is too. There's a time and a place for all things, and marriage shouldn't be on the radar until you're ready. There's a reason divorce rate among LDS Utahans is much higher than of those around them. They are marrying for all the wrong reasons; lust being the primary culprit.

I can't wait until I get married; however, for now that concept is shelved. I'm far too young to be thinking about anything in relation to marriage, especially eternal marriage, (marriage after death).  There's a reason I find other cultures far superior to ours here in Utah. They've lived for a long time, and realize the right times to do things. Again I say, there's a time and a place for everything. Don't stress about being single at 25, just have fun. The reason you're probably not married yet at 25 is because you're frazzled about still being single. Shut-up and live life. BFD! Just because you're friends and family are all married doesn't automatically require you to do so as well. Quit whining and live life while you can, and how you want to. Create meaningful relations with others. Be serious in commitment, and don't lust. And what's with this. A wife-beater is allowed the rights of marriage over two guys who love eachother 10X as much. Don't even get me started on gay marriage... We'll just stick to hetero today. (PS-Civil Union, not marriage... I just like to get animated.)

Find the average ages globaly for marriage here @:

AGE AT FIRST MARRIAGE

PAiX